Appetite whetted? Then read on.
The book is split into four parts the first part is entitled ‘The Dog formerly known as Prince’.
The first character that we encounter is Virginia who works as a waitress but dreams of a fairy tale world. She also believes in looking out for number one. She comes across as somebody who is disillusioned with life.
The second character we meet is her Dad, Tony a janitor in a posh apartment building who comes across as a little bit dog like, eager to please, in need of looking after but really wanting to snap and snarl at his employer.
We are then transported to the Nine Kingdoms where we meet Relish – the Troll King – who is breaking his children Burly, Blabberwort and Bluebell out of the Snow White Memorial Prison wearing his shoes of invisibility (which sound very cool).
They are in the process of leaving when they hear a voice belonging to… The Queen…
We are then taken to a carriage en route to the prison in which travels Prince Wendell who seems to be a very spoilt person. (He is our third character).
He is travelling to the prison as his step-mother (The Queen) has applied for parole again. Little does he know that she is now free and waiting for him with a surprise in the form of
a magic Dog. Or that when the dog touches the Prince, Wendell and the dog will change bodies!
After Wendell has become a dog and has run off somewhere inside the prison the Queen needs somebody to catch him.
This is when we meet our 4th main character – Wolf, a half-wolf-half-man who is also in the prison.
We don’t really get much insight into his character yet other than that he likes food.
Now before you read any further be warned this contains some major spoilers.
Whilst reading the book the reader needs to know one very important thing and that is that every few pages it switches to another characters perspective.
As well as the four main characters of Virginia, Tony, Wolf and Wendell; there is also a fifth central character and that is The Queen.
Her character is revealed slowly over the course of the book. The main thing you need to know is that she is evil, but there is a big surprise coming later in the book.
Obviously being evil she is manipulative and will stop at nothing to get what she wants. That dealt with let’s press on shall we.
As the recently transformed Wendell is trying to escape Wolf, The Trolls and the prison; he comes across a magic mirror in the cellar (for all you US readers it’s a basement). Using this
mirror he travels to the “10th Kingdom” (New York).
The first thing that happens to him in this wonderful new world is… Virginia hits him with her bike!
Wolf and the trolls soon follow Wendell through the mirror. Both getting slightly distracted by this new world, that the trolls name The 10th Kingdom.
We assume that – while the trolls are busy beating up humans and Wolf is enjoying all the food smells – Virginia has established that Wendell is alive and assessed her damaged bike and
gone to the restaurant where she works.
Now am I the only one that thinks there is something wrong with the sentence… ‘Virginia takes the Dog to the restaurant she works in’!
Do they not have Health and Hygiene rules and regulations in this fantasy world cos in this country someone would have seen you taking a dog into the kitchen and either called the E.H.O or started a rumour the restaurant serves dog!
And don’t get me started on the fact that she wears her uniform to work!!! (Sorry ex-caterer here, I see the world through catering eyes).
Okay back on topic, rant over.
So after taking Wendell to work and locking him in a store room, Virginia starts working until there is a crash from the stock room. Uh-oh what could it be? A bored dog trying to get
at the food? Nope Wendell has knocked over some flour and spelt the word DANGER. (You would so tweet a picture of that wouldn’t you!)
After discovering this and his ability to bark on command Virginia freaks out and heads home with the dog.
While all this is happening with Virginia Wolf arrives and after putting a lady off her food, then goes on to unnerve the waitress Candy with his food obsession.
He also follows Candy into the kitchen (erm again with the random breaking of health and safety rules!), discovers the stock room and manages to get Virginia’s address from Candy (SOME FRIEND)!
Virginia arrives home to discover all the people in her apartment building asleep. Additionally, Trolls are in her flat trying on her shoes.It turns out the trolls are SO dumb but also have a major shoe
fetish. After threatening Virginia; she tells them Wendell is in the lift and then proceeds to trap them in there. She then takes Wendell and runs off.
Poor Tony wakes up only to discover his front door has been broken and Wolf is there. Wolf manages to get the location of Virginia off Tony in exchange for a magic wishing bean!
Which Tony then eats (the words sweets and stranger spring to mind)! But having said that if he hadn’t eaten it this would have been a much different story.
The next time we encounter Tony he’s spent the remainder of the night worshiping the toilet. He emerges from the bathroom to encounter Murray his boss, who proceeds to fire him.
Tony is so enraged by this that he wishes for Murray and his whole family to be his slaves and kiss his ass.
Discovering his wish has come true, he then makes Murray clean his shoes with his tongue.
Tony also wishes for a never ending supply of beer. So the beers in the fridge start multiplying, he then wants something to clean his apartment.
Can’t see those wishes going wrong…!
Virginia meanwhile has spent the night at her horrible Grandmothers house.
Why horrible you might ask? Well when we meet her; she’s drunk and very critical of Virginia.
Then when Wolf arrives she preens at all of his compliments. At one point Wolf observes that she thinks that she is better looking than Virginia.So yeah horrible.
Wolf is in the process of seasoning a now tied up Granny when Virginia wakes up. He then pulls a Red Riding Hood on her until she pushes him out of a window!
Wolf comes to in an alley and comes face to face with a therapist who assumes he is her next appointment!
Meanwhile Tony is busy ogling Murray’s wife and wishing for a million dollars. (Which appears).
The Hoover is sucking up everything in its path, the never ending supply of beer has
blown up the fridge and SWAT have turned up to retrieve the stolen money!
Uh-oh didn’t see that coming at all!
Virginia and Wendell are now back in the park. Wolf’s therapist has given him an extensive reading list; Tony has been put into the back of a squad car and Murray’s mother has fixed
the lift that the Trolls were trapped in freeing them from their prison (which at one point was
The Trolls at this point remind me of the three stooges…
Well what do you think happens now? Tony uses a wish of course! Which causes the police car to crash.
Wolf who is in a nearby bookshop sees all of this and gives chase as Tony heads for… The Park. (Hmm, wonder where they are all going)!
So finally all the characters have arrived in the park. Tony bumps into Virginia and Wendell and uses his last wish to understand the dog. They then all make their way through the mirror to where it all began… the Prison.
Wolf who is the last one through and he deactivates the mirror by turning a decoration on its frame.
Tony, Virginia and Wendell travel through the prison to the Queen’s former cell hoping to find a clue as to where she has gone with Wendell’s body.
On the way Wendell shows them a map of the Nine Kingdoms where they see places such as Red Riding Hood forest and Snow White Memorial Prison.
Wendell informs them that the golden age where characters they know only in fairy tales was 200 years ago.
It’s at this point I want to chant Prequel, Prequel. Or possibly tweet #Prequel #Prequel!