Blood-A-Thon Book 6 – Definately Dead


The Southern Vampire Mystery Series Charlaine Harris



This book begins with a giant leap forward in time, which is kind of frustrating.*
At some point between Dead as a Doornail and this book, Sookie has heard that her cousin Hadley had died. She had left the family long before the series started and run a little wild, becoming involved with the Queen of Louisiana and eventually turning into a vampire herself. Leaving all her earthly possessions to Sookie (she’d fallen out with Jason years earlier and obviously still held a grudge), Sookie has been in contact with the Queen’s lawyer and arranged to clear her cousins apartment.Before she heads off, Quinn – who had worked as the umpire at the Streveport were leadership contest – comes calling. He’s interested in Sookie and as he seems way less complicated than either of her last beaus, she agrees to go out with him. They head to Streveport for a date and are jumped by some newly turned werewolves. Quinn is able to take care of them, but Sookie is shaken, with no idea who has it in for her…now.

The Queen is to be married to the King of Arkansas – strictly a business arrangement –  but would like the opportunity to speak with one of Hadley’s living relatives so insists on setting a meeting up with Sookie after she clears her new belongings.

The apartment has been placed in stasis by the instantly annoying Amelia – a very big headed witch and Hadley’s former landlady. 

Once the spell is lifted, the two are attacked by a newly turned vampire who had been stuck in a sort of magical limbo under the spell. 
At the hospital, Bill and Eric both stop in to check up on Sookie. Eric orders Bill to tell her the truth about their past. Reluctantly, Bill confesses that the Queen had sent him to Bon Temps specifically to seduce her. Once Hadley had met the Queen, she had bragged about her gifted cousin. The queen wanted to know more and so he was sent. While he maintains that he actually fell in love with her, Sookie is skeptical, heartbroken and furious. Sookie had already been summoned to meet the Queen the following night. She goes – though is secretly still livid at how she has been betrayed by her first love. While chatting, she mentions that Amelia is going to do an ‘ectoplamic reconstruction’ of Hadley’s last night. The Queen, as though on a whim, decides to attend with her entourage. Her ulterior motive is to catch one more glimpse at the woman she truly loved, and to ask Sookie to search for an engagement gift Hadley stole and hid. If the King discovers that it is missing, he will use it as an excuse to steal Louisiana from the Queen. 

Quinn happens to be in town – he runs a company that organises supernatural events – and he and Sookie try for another date. Once again they are attacked by were’s and this time are taken captive. There is a completely daft walk through a forest with Quinn as a tiger. It’s hilarious in its surreality, but that’s about it. Sookie’s captors turn out to be the Pelt’s. Turns out, Debbie was the sane and rational member of the family. Eric shows up – just in time once more – and Sookie is able to negotiate a sort of peace settlement with the totally psychotic Pelt family. 

The Queen and Bill…plotting…

Sookie and Quinn attend the ‘marriage’ together. Sookie is able to slip the Queen her stolen braclet (having found it in a coffee tin – the most obvious place ever! Why would a vampire have coffee in their apartment?!?). The King decides to attack regardless and the party quickly turns into a blood bath, with the Queen’s side ultimately victorious. 

Sookie returns to Hadley’s apartment, finding that Amelia has turned her beau into a cat and needs to get out of Dodge. In the most foolish decision in a series of books that lets face it, features more of those than the average, Sookie decides to bring the two dimensional Amelia and Bob the man turned cat home with her.

I’m getting a little sick of all these books now. I can’t wait to finish this Blood-A-Thon and read something different. I’m thinking something historical.
So maybe you should bare this is mind when I say that this is one of the MOST STUPID BOOKS I’VE EVER READ! While the other books in the series were not necessarily the most intellectually stimulating, they had a humour and a nuance that is totally missing here. 
*There is a short story ‘One word answer’ in the anthology Bite that fills the gap here between this book and the last. Well thanks so much for not bothering to point that out to the reader Miss ‘If-You-Like-My-Books-You’ll-Obviously-Read-My-Short-Stoies’ Harris. I’m disgusted that the reader was left confused, wondering if they’d miss a chapter somewhere or other just because the author was too arrogant for a 4 line summary.
Aside from that there is way too much going on in this book and none of it seems to be linked. All these disperate threads, with no logical connection. There are too many men and while Quinn seems nice, its instantly obvious that there is going to be a catch. I’ve never been a Bill fan, but sticking the whole ‘seducer of innocent virgins’ in is just weird. It seems totally out of character for him.  It makes him weak, a bit pathetic and his previous actions ridiculous.
The resolution with the Pelt family is just as daft. Having spent much of the book trying to kill her, Sookie is happy to trust them on their word that they won’t come after her again. Puhlease. No one is that naive. 
Score 1/10

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