A friend of LeedsBookClub (say hello on twitter here!), Marie is writing an EPIC review of The Tenth Kingdom!
Continued from Part One!
(Quick recap – Virginia and her father Tony have fallen through a magic mirror from New York into the nine Magical Fairy Kingdom.
In the company of a Wolf and an enchanted Prince – currently a Dog – Virginia and Tony must travel through the Kingdoms, seeking the evil Queen. She is the Prince’s step-mother and has hidden his real body.
It is only by helping the Prince that they will be able to find another Magic Mirror to take them home…)
They find the Queen’s cell, but the trolls have gotten there first and imprison Tony and Wendell in the cell and capture Virginia (The Witch).
But not to worry! Wolf is hot on the troll’s trail, to rescue his lovely Virginia.
Tony tries to explain what happened to the prison warden but his story just sounds more ludicrous by the second. He even tried to make a wish only to cough up a dry shrivelled husk that Wendell informs him is a Dragon Dung bean. (Sounds lovely!)
He is thrown into a cell with Clayface the Goblin and Acorn the Dwarf, whilst Wendell is taken away to get a rat poison laced dinner.
Virginia is now a prisoner of the merciless trolls and has been tattooed, and waiting for some iron shoes to heat on the fire.
The Queen has returned to her home – a ruined castle that she reveals belonged to the original Evil Queen who tried to kill Snow White. This Evil Queen had been forced to dance in red hot iron shoes at her wedding. She had dragged herself to a nearby swamp where she waited for her inevitable successor – who turns out is The Queen.
Fortunately Wolf *sigh* comes to the rescue of a captive Virginia, and tricks the trolls into knocking one another out. The intrepid pair then escape into the Beanstalk forest(despite serious misgivings on Virginia’s part).
Back in the Prison Tony is scrubbing the corridors. Wendell just happens to be the other side of the door he is scrubbing near. Recognising Tony’s scent; he calls to him and gives him the
Governor’s master key. Which he tells Tony to make an impression of in the soap.
Now something has always bugged me about the make an impression in the soap plan. Does the person making the impression have more than one bar of soap? Because surely if that person is using that bar of soap it will wear away the key’s impression (just saying)!!!
In the Troll kingdom Relish is having a tantrum, he came to use the shoes on Virginia only to discover she’s gone and his children unconscious, and the shoes of invisibility gone. So he
organises a search party. Virginia and Wolf are escaping through the Beanstalk forest when they come across a statue of a boy inscribed ‘Brave Jack, The First Mayor of Beantown’ (yes the Jack from the story). Wolf is telling Virginia a bit of the local history when she slips on the magic shoes and escapes.
Poor Tony – who still needs his key making – is trying to discover from the other prisoners who he needs to go to, to get something made. They inform him he needs to go to the Tooth Fairy, so a helpful inmate punches Tony in the mouth and he gets sent to the Tooth Fairy where he gets strapped down and his teeth pulled out.
Wolf is able to follow Virginia’s scent and catches her at the base of a beanstalk just as the charge runs out of the magic shoes. They are then forced to climb a beanstalk to escape from
the trolls and their dogs.
Things for Tony are going from bad to worse he is caught outside the Governor’s door with the fake key and given 50 Beanstalk lashes as punishment. The guards have also discovered the cellar door was open during the escape and so the governor assigns a work party to clear it out. Luckily Wendell is able to put Tony’s name onto that list.
During the work detail Tony is handed the mirror they need to get home he is reluctant to throw it onto the boat he has thrown all of the other stuff as he is understandably worried it will break and that they will all be trapped there. Unfortunately or fortunately depending which way you look at it. He throws the mirror onto the boat and it doesn’t break. But for his
refusal to throw the mirror the Governor confines him to his cell for 7 years!
Near the entrance to the prison lurk the Trolls and Virginia and Wolf. Relish is laying a flour trap to catch them returning to the prison to rescue Tony and Virginia has just slipped on the magic shoes and Wolf is hanging on to her as they make their way to the prison. Little do they know that Tony is at this minute discovering Acorn and Clayface’s tunnel and is escaping from the prison!!
Virginia and wolf make their way into the prison to rescue Tony and along the way find Wendell – who they use to find Tony’s cell. Unfortunately they get there and discover it is empty just as the power of the shoes runs out.
It’s a bloody good job there’s a tunnel.
And fortunate that as they’re using the tunnel they literally run into Tony who is stuck. Wolf pushes him out and Tony then informs them all that he put the mirror onto a boat. Just at that moment Acorn sails by with said boat.
So Tony and Co., get onto another boat, which the Trolls see them doing and so barrel down the bank to catch them only to fall into the water (three stooges stylee)!
Relish decided to wage war on the fourth kingdom much to the Queens displeasure and demands that Wendell comes to face him within 7 days or he will claim the kingdom for himself.
On the boat Wolf is attempting to use his self help books to bond with Tony who is trying to catch the magic fish of the river. A fish that gives the fisherman who catches it the power to
turn one thing into gold if he throws the fish back! Bet you can’t guess who catches the fish!
Yep, Tony (this is So going to end badly)!
The boat finally arrives in Rivertown, where Acorn has been and gone with the mirror. Wendell dashes off to a ruined castle complaining he feels weird. Tony dashes off in hot pursuit, neither aware that the trolls are there having just been to see The Queen.
The trolls attack and Tony comes back to Rivertown looking for a chisel! Hmm, wonder what happened there!
So to wrap up part 1 Wendell and the Trolls are now gold!
Part 2; Well of Fortune:
Wonder if a well features in this part! The Queen is growing frustrated with everyone’s ineptitude and so has summoned The Huntsman who me thinks she fancies.
Wolf, Virginia and Tony are now heading through the disenchanted forest with Wendell on a little cart. They’ve been informed that somebody is going to kill them.
The Troll King is causing major problems for The Queen and she has sent her Huntsman after the envoy Wendell’s lackeys have sent to his Hunting Lodge.
The gang come across a gypsy camp and are invited to stay the night. When they are escaping the next morning Virginia decides to free the magic talking birds. She is just doing the last
cage when… she slips and alerts the gypsies! Luckily they don’t chase them for very long before the hunt is called off by The Gypsy Queen. Unfortunately for Virginia she has some of her hair from when she told her fortune the night before. So she uses it to curse her. (They sure are having some bad luck).
This cause causes Virginia’s hair to grow, and grow, and grow. It is also uncuttable. Whilst they are trekking through the forest it starts to rain so they seek shelter. This turns out to be the 7 Dwarves Cottage. Still with all the beds made and the mugs waiting for their owners. (Good job it’s not here it would’ve been looted and then probably pulled down by
the local council).
While Virginia and Wolf are drying her LONG hair, Wolf tried to get her to talk about her mother. Virginia goes on the defensive claiming she doesn’t care her mother left them when she was 7 and never got in touch. She then goes on to state that Love is Bullshit made up by people who are scared to be alone.
The next day Virginia’s hair is even longer but luckily for them one of the birds that Virginia frees tells them there is a woodcutter in the forest with a magic axe that will cure the curse.
This is the start of a very busy day for the group. Wolf is forced to hide Virginia, Wendell and Tony so that he can lure The Huntsman away from them. But Virginia sneezes alerting
The Huntsman to their presence. She and Tony try to run away but The Huntsman stands on her hair and catches her. She is then taken to an actual tree house. (Yep, a house inside a
The Tenth Kingdom